So, you decide to stop talking about this. You pretend in public as if everything is fine. You avoid people so they don’t think you are a downer. You actually avoid them so you don’t make them feel bad which would just make you feel worse! It’s a crap reason, but you don’t give a flying fuck.
You are afraid of rejection. Yet you don’t feel you can tell anyone how you feel. What if you do tell them and they don’t take you seriously? So you isolate yourself completely.
Feelings are shit. There were times I imagined how great it would be if I just ripped out whatever was in my chest and throw it away – just physically get rid of them.